My Wife's Birthday (1912)

Gratz Brown, a broker of wealth and position, renounces the follies of life, and marries a beautiful girl, some years his junior. Business cares absorbing much of his time, his young wife was frequently left alone. One evening, with a burst of enthusiasm, she exclaimed, "If I only had a dog, it would at least be something to talk to." The remark at the time was not particularly appealing, but Mr. Brown remembered it. In due course, Mrs. Brown's birthday arrived, and extraordinary efforts and plans were made for its celebration. Gifts innumerable from a multitude of admiring friends were sent with cards of congratulations. Her husband's gift, a magnificent diamond necklace, was received by her with expressions of great joy. Recalling her wish for a dog, Mr. Brown visits a kennel, and selects one of "bull" species. In the midst of the attendant excitement occasioned by the many beautiful gifts, the dog is delivered at the Brown mansion. All else is immediately forgotten. Falling upon her knees, Mrs. Brown literally smothers the animal with caresses. Mr. Brown stands near regarding the demonstration with a dubious thoughtful expression. Subsequent transpirings convince him of his folly, for from the time of the dog's advent into the household, Mr. Brown was entirely forgotten. "Buster" (for that is the name by which the dog was christened) was everywhere in evidence. When at meals, Mrs. Brown fed him from her own fork the choicest morsels of tenderloin, etc. Mr. Brown's "Good morning, dearie," was met with aggravating abstraction on the part of his wife, until at last, driven to despair by her indifference, he resolves to disenchant her with dogs. He visits the fancier and purchases a number of dogs, which he has delivered to his home. Their arrival only seems to widen the breach between him and his wife, for her time is now wholly occupied with her pets, and poor Brown is entirely forgotten. Struck with a brilliant idea, he visits a foundling asylum and adopts an infant. He arranges for its delivery, and in due course the child is taken to the Brown home. The young wife is busily occupied feeding and caring for the dogs, when the nurse, carrying the child, is ushered in. Seeing the infant, she at once makes an effort to take possession of it, but is restrained by the resourceful Mr. Brown, who offers her the alternate of "dogs" or "baby." With a woman's intuitive feeling, she exclaims, "Give me the baby." And the dogs are returned to the original owner.

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GenresComedy Short