Wood B. Wedd and the Microbes (1914)

Wood B. Wedd, disappointed in his effort to find the one woman in all the world, lost most of his enthusiasm for matrimony. Jenks was determined he should marry. He decided that Miss Seraphina Brown would make a splendid wife for his friend. An introduction was arranged. Everything went along beautifully until Wood B. Wedd decided to propose. Miss Seraphina was a lady of strong and peculiar ideas, and her actions on being proposed to startled Wood B. First, she looked him over, then, taking a tape measure from her pocket, she began to take measurements, thumped his chest, listened to his heart's action, etc. Satisfied with her examination, she produced a document which she asked Wood B. to sign. To his horror, he found that he was No. 13 on the eligible list. Despite his protestations, she forced him to sign. Wood B. thoroughly bewildered, consulted his friend Darby Jenks. They were in the midst of a discussion when word came from Miss Seraphina asking Wood B. to come to her house immediately. On their arrival at the house, Miss Seraphina and her maid took them in charge, charging their minds with warnings against microbes and infection that they hardly knew what to do. The vacuum cleaner was brought into operation on their clothes; they were sprayed and fumigated and finally Seraphina decided that a vapor was the only thing for Wood B. He resisted valiantly, but finally they all went off, leaving him in the bath cabinet, while the mercury slowly climbed. Wood B. decided that it was too much, and managed to make his escape, clad only in the bath cabinet. No. 13 had worked, and once more he had failed in his matrimonial adventures.

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GenresComedy Short