The Fable of the Two Mandolin Players and the Willing Performer (1914)

Fred and Eustice, two specimens of Veal, have been beating it up to see Myrtle for eight years. They always bring their mandolins and play sweet ditties. Fred's cousin from St. Paul comes to pay him a visit. He is fresher than Green Paint, and breezes along with Fred to see Myrtle. Fred warns him not to pull any of his regular stuff, or he'll get in bad. Right away Gus said, "'Me for her," but Fred only replied, "Nothing doing; she's particular." However, in eight minutes Gus was reading her palm, and came closer to holding her hand than either of them had in eight years. The two boobs amused them on their mandolins. In three weeks Gus and Myrtle were married. The music was furnished by Home Talent. Moral: To get a fair trial of Speed, use a Pace-maker.

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GenresComedy Short