A Girl Not Worth Knowing
What could have been a fun, hip, modern take on the old '80s coming of age sex comedy, The Girl Next Door is nothing more than a banal, convoluted story about horny teenagers who learn that sex isn't everything and that even porn stars—particularly those with a heart of gold—need love.
Unfortunately, the schizophrenic movie wants to be more than an off-kilter love story—mixing romance, a caper plot and sex comedy hijinks in an uneven and lackluster melange that's ultimately a big mess and a bigger bore.
Of course, the primary reason audiences—mainly teenage boys—will to see this picture is for porn star/girl next door Danielle (Elisha Cuthbert of TV's 24). However, other than preening in a few scenes and stripping down to her skivvies a couple of times, there isn't much to see. The eye candy is supplied by various other porn stars that show off their "assets" at a moment's notice.
Those seeking more than hot naked chicks will be disappointed by the story. Matthew Kidman (Emile Hirsch) is a senior at a generic California high school, dominated by jocks and cheerleaders, whose future looks bright, but whose present is dull boredom. That is until Danielle moves next door and encourages Matthew to just go with the flow. A generic romance montage follows to a suitably romantic song. Everything is going swimmingly until Matthew's porn-addicted friend Eli (Chris Marquette) discovers that Danielle is actually adult actress Athena.
After breaking up with Danielle, Matthew tries to reconnect only to find that Danielle's former producer Kelly (Timothy Olyphant) has tracked her down and is dragging her back to the pornographic life she is trying to escape. What follows is a series of alternatively violent and moronic plot developments that find Matthew and his friends having to make a pornographic movie during the high school prom in order to repay a debt. The ending is so outlandish, that even those who have bought into the plot will be groaning in despair.
Although, for the most part, The Girl Next Door is a mess, there are clever moments, particularly a number of fantasy sequences and a few almost funny scenes with Matthew's friends Eli and Klitz (Paul Dano).
The big problem is the miscast Hirsch. On the one hand he's too conventionally good looking to be a geek on the level of Eli and Klitz. On the other, he's too dull to attract an obviously experienced and intelligent beauty like Danielle, resulting in one of those unusual movie experiences in which the secondary characters (Eli, Klitz and the wonderfully menacing Kelly) and subplots are much more enjoyable than watching the leads moon over each other.
To be fair, Cuthbert, who makes her feature lead debut, is fetching and could carry a movie. Too bad it had to be this one.
The only reason to see this Risky Business wannabe is for the eye candy and even that is not worth the taste.
Unfortunately, the schizophrenic movie wants to be more than an off-kilter love story—mixing romance, a caper plot and sex comedy hijinks in an uneven and lackluster melange that's ultimately a big mess and a bigger bore.
Of course, the primary reason audiences—mainly teenage boys—will to see this picture is for porn star/girl next door Danielle (Elisha Cuthbert of TV's 24). However, other than preening in a few scenes and stripping down to her skivvies a couple of times, there isn't much to see. The eye candy is supplied by various other porn stars that show off their "assets" at a moment's notice.
Those seeking more than hot naked chicks will be disappointed by the story. Matthew Kidman (Emile Hirsch) is a senior at a generic California high school, dominated by jocks and cheerleaders, whose future looks bright, but whose present is dull boredom. That is until Danielle moves next door and encourages Matthew to just go with the flow. A generic romance montage follows to a suitably romantic song. Everything is going swimmingly until Matthew's porn-addicted friend Eli (Chris Marquette) discovers that Danielle is actually adult actress Athena.
After breaking up with Danielle, Matthew tries to reconnect only to find that Danielle's former producer Kelly (Timothy Olyphant) has tracked her down and is dragging her back to the pornographic life she is trying to escape. What follows is a series of alternatively violent and moronic plot developments that find Matthew and his friends having to make a pornographic movie during the high school prom in order to repay a debt. The ending is so outlandish, that even those who have bought into the plot will be groaning in despair.
Although, for the most part, The Girl Next Door is a mess, there are clever moments, particularly a number of fantasy sequences and a few almost funny scenes with Matthew's friends Eli and Klitz (Paul Dano).
The big problem is the miscast Hirsch. On the one hand he's too conventionally good looking to be a geek on the level of Eli and Klitz. On the other, he's too dull to attract an obviously experienced and intelligent beauty like Danielle, resulting in one of those unusual movie experiences in which the secondary characters (Eli, Klitz and the wonderfully menacing Kelly) and subplots are much more enjoyable than watching the leads moon over each other.
To be fair, Cuthbert, who makes her feature lead debut, is fetching and could carry a movie. Too bad it had to be this one.
The only reason to see this Risky Business wannabe is for the eye candy and even that is not worth the taste.
